Once upon a time, I worked out FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.
I was fourteen years old (picture on the Left) when I started exercising for the first time in my life. Seemingly, overnight, I had gained 15 lbs, cellulite and stretch marks. Surrounded, seemingly, by thin and perfect girls, I felt very unattractive and for the first time I was very body-cognizant. Cognizant of its faults and flaws, and how much I didn’t like what I saw. I exercised in secret because in those days (the ’90s, y’all!), no one really worked out unless you were into sports. I wasn’t into sports. I was the kid who typed on her computer, creating stories, surrounded by participation and “A for Effort” ribbons decked out in her bedroom. But those extra pounds — all that SELF LOATHING — propelled me to religiously and obsessively exercise everyday after school.
I just wanted to like myself — and like my body.
This was my attitude towards fitness for the next 10 years or so. I worked out HARD all the time, never skipping a workout (not even on Christmas or my birthday and god forbid I got sick!) because I wanted to feel better about myself. Yes, okay, I did like working out but that wasn’t my main aim. I did it because I thought I HAD to. I HAD TO continue my weight loss. I HAD TO “work off” that pizza from last night. I HAD to be fit/skinny/thin, etc. Basically, I worked out FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.
Thankfully, I changed.
The picture on the Right is me at 34, happy and healthy and loving exercise because of how it makes me feel on the INSIDE. This internal shift has improved not only my health (mental and physical), wellness, and confidence but also my outlook on life. We exercise to look and feel good — but we need to find that self love and compassion from the inside first.
When we start to love and accept who we are on the inside first, that’s when the real change and transformation occurs.
Now I work out when I want to because I WANT TO. I no longer feel guilty for eating (gluten free) pizza or drinking that extra glass of wine. I allow myself to relax, recharge, rest, and JUST BE. I enjoy myself. I enjoy my body. Mostly, I love myself AND I love my body.
I’m so grateful for that girl on the right because if it weren’t for her struggles, I wouldn’t love fitness and wellness as much as I do today. I wouldn’t be a certified personal trainer and or healthy eating coach. I wouldn’t be the person who is so passionate about enriching and empowering the lives of women and teenage girls through fitness and nutrition.
Now I could give less than AF about cellulite and stretch marks. (I’m also grateful for that Rachel cut, too, because I mean….’90s.)
I am so excited to share my fitness journey, including all of the ups and downs, and learned wisdom and knowledge, as well as my passion for healthy living with my new clients!
WE GOT THIS!